A Friendly Perspective

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If you’re just joining this blog, I am currently doing a series. Feel free to read my blogs from previous weeks to catch up.

Here goes . . .

I was asleep (in a coma) or dazed and confused during most of my time in the hospital, so my stories are limited. I do remember a significant story about August 31—the day the Drs. released me from the hospital. That afternoon the hospital threw a party for me and another boy they released. We said goodbye to those who had taken care of us and become our friends, we at cake, and a local news station sent a reporter to interview us.

After the Drs. warned my mother that I would not begin walking for 2 years and I would remain a vegetable, she wheeled me out to the car, strapped me in, and we took off. Sometime later, driving north on Interstate 5, the car ran out of gas, and my mother coasted over to the side of the freeway. She got out, came around to my side of the car, unstrapped me, and carried her 7 year old child (me) down the shoulder of the freeway toward a gas station.

Moments later, a beige car pulled over to the side of the freeway, my mother strapped me into the back, and she got into the passenger’s side. I didn’t understand how my mother could be so calm, sitting in a car with a guy who had a shotgun between him and my mother. I didn’t say anything about it. Well, that I can remember. Sometime later, it dawned on me that the man who picked us up was an undercover cop. I wonder if subconsciously his help left such an impression on me that that’s why I spent many of my childhood years wanting to be a police officer, and even now I have a deep seeded respect for police.

Sometimes, when help comes our way, we don’t realize it’s the help we need because of our perspective on life. That’s why it’s important to surround ourselves with people who have our best interests in mind and can identify others willing to help us. Whether it’s finding a trustworthy mortgage broker, realtor, other person to do business with, or potential employee, friends are important. Had it not been for my mother, I would have never gotten into that beige car. Of course, I wouldn’t have been there had it not been for her, but I am sure you understand my point. Friends are important because they have our best interests in mind, and they can give us a different perspective on our circumstances.

It’s easy, in this current economic climate, to hide our money and not trust anyone with our business. Of course, hiding our money is part of the reason we’re here. Perhaps if we surround ourselves with people we trust, then ask them to help us find other trustworthy people to do business with, we can begin to come out of this economic funk.

Thinking Forward

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Once again, for the second time this summer, I am posting this blog a day later than normal. What can I say? Once again, family first. I hope everyone understands. Anyhow, continuing with the story of my childhood head trauma, this week I want to talk a little more about the days after I woke from my coma. When a person wakes from such a sleep, it takes time for that person to regain all of his/her motor functions.

The day after I woke from my coma, I began my therapy sessions. Those included learning to speak all over again, as well as a team of physical therapists stretching my legs. The day after I woke I recited the alphabet, which is highly unlike for the victim of an A.V. Malformation to do. I had to learn everything all over again.

On the afternoon of August 31, 1984, Drs. released me and warned my mother (My father was a pilot, so he missed much of these weeks) that I would not begin to walk for at least two years. My mother brought me home and I either rolled around in my wheelchair or crawled around the house.

A couple of weeks later, I crawled down a narrow hallway and asked my mother to step to the side. I told her I wanted to try something. Now, please realize that I can be a rather impulsive person. Sometimes I get this inkling that something is the right thing to do. At my request, she stood back. I lifted a hand, pressed against the wall, shoved my opposite knee forward, and stood.

When my mother brought me to my therapy session the next day, she wheeled me into the hospital; then, she announced to my therapists that I had walked. They reminded her of the impossibility and suggested that perhaps she had had a dream. Obstinate, my mother lifted the foot rests, the therapists set a walker in front of me (yes, my feet were still feeble), and I stood and walked. Of course, then there was screaming and what not; though, imagine, within a 2 month period going from a team of Drs. diagnosing a loved one with an A.V. Malformation along with only a 10% chance of living to walking. That fall, my aunt and cousin moved to San Diego. Paul taught me how to ride a bicycle and six months after the day I stood I ran.

When I make a major life decision, I think forward, and I encourage you to think forward. Sometimes, my major life decisions upset people, because they don’t understand them, but I never regret those life decisions. On the day I stood, and on every other day I’ve made a major decision, I’ve thought forward. I thought forward to my life 20/30/50 years in the future; and I’ve asked myself: “What do I want to see when I look back on my life 20/30/50 years from now?”

Whether it’s a personal, relational, or business decision, I encourage you to think forward. Think about what you want your life, your relationship, or your business to look like when you look back on it many years from now. Sometimes, that means taking chances that may not seem like the safest or most rational. Not everyone will always agree with you, but some will support you. That’s why it’s important to have those people in your life. So, today, whatever is in front of you, think forward. If you have a family, especially if you are married, think about how your decision will impact them. Doing the right thing is not always easy; though, thinking forward will always help you make sure you’re on the right track.

Battle Scars

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Blog posting by Erick Pettersen

On July 13, 1984 I opened my eyes for the first time in a month. I had fallen into a coma; though, Drs. put me into a deeper coma, so they could perform the brain surgery and stabilize my condition. There was no guarantee I would make it through the surgery or that I would ever wake up. I did wake up. In an instant.

It sounds unbelievable. Like something that only happens in the movies. But it happened. Of course, when it happened I had anything but 20/20 vision. That’s the part about movies that is the most unbelievable. Try sleeping for an entire month and then waking up. When you walk into the bathroom or kitchen in the middle of the night, after sleeping for 4 or 5 hours, you have a difficult time adjusting to the light. Now, imagine your eyes being closed for an entire month.

Over those first several days, everything hurt. I didn’t like to go out in the light. When someone brought me into the light, I wore sunglasses. I never stayed out doors for too long, because the San Diego children’s Hospital (Now, Rady Children’s Hospital was below flight paths in and out of the San Diego), and I didn’t like loud noises. My vision got better, but the murals on the walls continued to blur, then I started seeing double. I learned that by closing one eye I would only see one of everything. My hearing eventually returned to normal, and I got glasses.

25 years later, I still wear glasses and I think loud noises still bother me a little more than most people. A few physical signs of my days in the hospital remain, such as the limp from one of my vertebrate being offset, and the scar on the back of my neck (I’ve actually only seen it once). Sometimes people notice my limp or my scar and ask about them, and I always tell them whatever they want to know.

Whether it’s my limp, which I don’t really notice; the scar on the back of my neck, which I can’t even see; or someone asking me to share about those days, the memory of those days reminds me of where I’ve come from.

Look at your battle scars (past victories). Look back at your life, and consider where you’ve come from. Whether it’s just been over the last week or the last year or the last 25 years. Too often people measure themselves against who they were yesterday; though, that’s like a worm measuring itself against a snake and calling itself short. Think of it this way, if a marathoner ran the hills and the plateaus the same way, rather than pacing him/herself. That person would probably collapse in the middle of the race. If you’re going through struggles in your life, measure yourself against your victories.

Perhaps, it was some sort of brain surgery. Perhaps you were homeless for a time or in an abusive relationship. Perhaps you’re going through a battle right now. There’s nothing wrong with that. We’ve all been through our battles. If that’s the case, go through your current battles with the support of those around you.

I went through my battle back in 1984. I made it through because of a wonderful medical system, the love and support of those around me, and my own unwillingness to give up. So, whatever you’re going through today, just remember to either focus on your battle scars (past victories) or to focus on developing a support system of those who will come by your side and help you through those battles. Maybe it’s both; but, however you get through those battles in your life, just make sure to always focus on your victories.