A Friendly Perspective

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If you’re just joining this blog, I am currently doing a series. Feel free to read my blogs from previous weeks to catch up.

Here goes . . .

I was asleep (in a coma) or dazed and confused during most of my time in the hospital, so my stories are limited. I do remember a significant story about August 31—the day the Drs. released me from the hospital. That afternoon the hospital threw a party for me and another boy they released. We said goodbye to those who had taken care of us and become our friends, we at cake, and a local news station sent a reporter to interview us.

After the Drs. warned my mother that I would not begin walking for 2 years and I would remain a vegetable, she wheeled me out to the car, strapped me in, and we took off. Sometime later, driving north on Interstate 5, the car ran out of gas, and my mother coasted over to the side of the freeway. She got out, came around to my side of the car, unstrapped me, and carried her 7 year old child (me) down the shoulder of the freeway toward a gas station.

Moments later, a beige car pulled over to the side of the freeway, my mother strapped me into the back, and she got into the passenger’s side. I didn’t understand how my mother could be so calm, sitting in a car with a guy who had a shotgun between him and my mother. I didn’t say anything about it. Well, that I can remember. Sometime later, it dawned on me that the man who picked us up was an undercover cop. I wonder if subconsciously his help left such an impression on me that that’s why I spent many of my childhood years wanting to be a police officer, and even now I have a deep seeded respect for police.

Sometimes, when help comes our way, we don’t realize it’s the help we need because of our perspective on life. That’s why it’s important to surround ourselves with people who have our best interests in mind and can identify others willing to help us. Whether it’s finding a trustworthy mortgage broker, realtor, other person to do business with, or potential employee, friends are important. Had it not been for my mother, I would have never gotten into that beige car. Of course, I wouldn’t have been there had it not been for her, but I am sure you understand my point. Friends are important because they have our best interests in mind, and they can give us a different perspective on our circumstances.

It’s easy, in this current economic climate, to hide our money and not trust anyone with our business. Of course, hiding our money is part of the reason we’re here. Perhaps if we surround ourselves with people we trust, then ask them to help us find other trustworthy people to do business with, we can begin to come out of this economic funk.

Thinking Forward

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Once again, for the second time this summer, I am posting this blog a day later than normal. What can I say? Once again, family first. I hope everyone understands. Anyhow, continuing with the story of my childhood head trauma, this week I want to talk a little more about the days after I woke from my coma. When a person wakes from such a sleep, it takes time for that person to regain all of his/her motor functions.

The day after I woke from my coma, I began my therapy sessions. Those included learning to speak all over again, as well as a team of physical therapists stretching my legs. The day after I woke I recited the alphabet, which is highly unlike for the victim of an A.V. Malformation to do. I had to learn everything all over again.

On the afternoon of August 31, 1984, Drs. released me and warned my mother (My father was a pilot, so he missed much of these weeks) that I would not begin to walk for at least two years. My mother brought me home and I either rolled around in my wheelchair or crawled around the house.

A couple of weeks later, I crawled down a narrow hallway and asked my mother to step to the side. I told her I wanted to try something. Now, please realize that I can be a rather impulsive person. Sometimes I get this inkling that something is the right thing to do. At my request, she stood back. I lifted a hand, pressed against the wall, shoved my opposite knee forward, and stood.

When my mother brought me to my therapy session the next day, she wheeled me into the hospital; then, she announced to my therapists that I had walked. They reminded her of the impossibility and suggested that perhaps she had had a dream. Obstinate, my mother lifted the foot rests, the therapists set a walker in front of me (yes, my feet were still feeble), and I stood and walked. Of course, then there was screaming and what not; though, imagine, within a 2 month period going from a team of Drs. diagnosing a loved one with an A.V. Malformation along with only a 10% chance of living to walking. That fall, my aunt and cousin moved to San Diego. Paul taught me how to ride a bicycle and six months after the day I stood I ran.

When I make a major life decision, I think forward, and I encourage you to think forward. Sometimes, my major life decisions upset people, because they don’t understand them, but I never regret those life decisions. On the day I stood, and on every other day I’ve made a major decision, I’ve thought forward. I thought forward to my life 20/30/50 years in the future; and I’ve asked myself: “What do I want to see when I look back on my life 20/30/50 years from now?”

Whether it’s a personal, relational, or business decision, I encourage you to think forward. Think about what you want your life, your relationship, or your business to look like when you look back on it many years from now. Sometimes, that means taking chances that may not seem like the safest or most rational. Not everyone will always agree with you, but some will support you. That’s why it’s important to have those people in your life. So, today, whatever is in front of you, think forward. If you have a family, especially if you are married, think about how your decision will impact them. Doing the right thing is not always easy; though, thinking forward will always help you make sure you’re on the right track.